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Who's Pooping?

Nasty Nate's gravatar

Nasty Nate (a week ago)
So here we are again. Hot, sweaty weather plus fried chicken last night can only mean one thing: Mississippi mud butt. After 20 minutes of intense strain and reddit browsing, I got up and looked back at the unholy horror I birthed into this world. I could barely see the TP as the shit just seemed to keep rising above the water (sort of like Katrina in a toilet bowl). Needless to say, I limped out of there in a cold sweat. And even though the worst is over (I hope), I'm having PTSD symptoms of a burning brown eye as I sit on my extra-pillow'd office chair. I can't wait for summer vacation. I just want to sit naked in a kiddy pool and spread my cheeks wide to cool down. I don't give a shit who sees or how much the neighbor's kid cries. I need this damn it.

pile high club's gravatar

pile high club (a week ago)
Ever shit on a plane? It's amazing. But don't flush while seated, got my grapes almost pulled off by the suction. Hopefully someone will see this and it will save their balls... -random white guy

bigdick ben's gravatar

bigdick ben (9 days ago)
So suffice to say I'm Pooping. (Oh Yeah Pooping Yeah!!!) But seriously I feel like I just droped about 10 ppunds! Somebody call the city cause I think this one is gonna need some help flushing all the way to the sewage plant. Oh yeah I feel much better now :-)

Jimmy McCullough's gravatar

Jimmy McCullough (10 days ago)
So yeah...

Fresil's gravatar

Fresil (2 weeks ago)
This is gonna sound weird. My cat likes to lick and bite and eat weird things. Like sometimes he wants to lick my eyelids or eat my armpits. Anyhow, things just got a lot weirder. As usual, whenever I'm pooping, my cat likes to sit right at the toilet and he sometimes tries to get up to see what's going on inside the bowl. So, today I took a poop, and as usual my cat was front and center trying to get a good view of the action. I was having a really difficult poo and it was really messy and sticky. I knew that it was going to take a lot of wiping after I finished. There was apparently more shit stuck to my cheeks than expected. And when I stood up to wipe, my cat hopped up onto the toilet seat and then shoved his head in my crack and started licking and eating the poop right off of and out of my anus. I WAS MORTIFIED. And this wasn't a gentle lick either. This was a ninety mile per hour chow down going on in my butthole. I wanted to vomit my guts up. I am getting rid of the cat asap.

as's gravatar

as (2 weeks ago)
dsf

Nasty Nate's gravatar

Nasty Nate (2 weeks ago)
Holy goat fuck! I am laying enough pipe to reach to Alaska and back. How do you upload pics on this thing? Anyway, taking another man-sized shit in the 4th floor bathroom. Coming out stringy due to all the spicy ramen I ate, but burning just as coming out as it did going in. Just went to wipe and saw the bowl is stained (again). Say what you will about how much work I actually do here, but I am making the custodian lady earn her meager paycheck today. It's gonna take some scrubbing, industrial bleach, and a little TLC to get this porcelain pretty again.

Jayden's gravatar

Jayden (3 weeks ago)
Back again; I'm by myself at work (work at a pizza place), and I can hear a lot of customers coming in, and they can probably hear my shit splashing and fart sounds.

Nasty Nate's gravatar

Nasty Nate (3 weeks ago)
I am taking a huge shit right now in kimchi land. I ate Japanese curry last night and it was gone all kamikaze on my lower G.I. Tract. The shit is becoming more and more liquified with each push of my rectum. Thank god this bowl is a wide mouth model western shitter. I think my co-workers suspect something when I run out of the office holding my chest and don't come back for 30 mins. In any case, I'm off to find some ice cubes to use as a suppository to cool down my ring of fire. Will report back later. Godspeed.

Tiscuit Burd's gravatar

Tiscuit Burd (3 weeks ago)
Liquid shit is dropping from my anus right now. I love watching it clench in and out. Taking a dump is so fun and enjoyable. Link pictures to your shit on imgur if you want!

Shitmeister's gravatar

Shitmeister (3 weeks ago)
Nice solid post - breakfast shit

Geltin's gravatar

Geltin (3 weeks ago)
Aye chihuahua! I ate spicy enchiladas and my anus is breathing fire right now! I'm spitting molten lava out of my asshole at over one billion miles per hour right now. The toilet water is red with blood, my asshole hurts so much I think I might pass out from the pain. I have never had ghost pepper before, but I ordered my enchiladas with ghost pepper hot sauce and I think my insides are melting and blowing out of my asshole at one million degrees fahrenheit. I don't know if I will ever be able to digest anything ever again. I am in horrible, unbearable pain with a spray of bloody diarrhea shooting out of my asshole so hard that it's probably ripping my anus into a thousand tiny pieces. I think I will need emergency care after this.

Dr. Shitbutt's gravatar

Dr. Shitbutt (3 weeks ago)
I just dropped a huge smelly log out of my anus. I pushed really hard and it felt good. It was dry, so I only had to wipe once. I love pooping and peeing out of my fat vagina. -Dr. Shitbutt

Brenlet's gravatar

Brenlet (3 weeks ago)
I accidentally splashed/sprayed diarrhea all over the bathroom just now. Talk about embarrassing! I thought I was done pooping. So I stood up to wipe. And when I did, another heavy spray of diarrhea shot out of my butt-hole all over the toilet and the wall and towels. I am basically standing here in the bathroom trying to figure out how in the world I am going to clean this up without anyone else finding out what I did. Any suggestions? Thank god I have my phone in here with me so I can ask you all.

Jayden's gravatar

Jayden (3 weeks ago)
I'm sweating on the toilet, pooping, trying to survive this Texas heat, and all I think about is how happy this site makes me.

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